Crouching over a tape recorder in an attempt to capture the Top 40 on a TDK
magnetic cassette; writing letters to an overseas penfriend; popping down to
Boots to have your holiday snaps developed.
These are just some of the joys of childhood that parents, now in their 30s
and 40s, say they miss, according to a survey.
Really?
The 1980s and 1970s were many things – but only a fool, wallowing in a Slush
Puppie vat of nostalgia, could claim they were a golden age of childhood.
With the exception of the films of this era (Back to the Future, Ferris
Bueller, Raiders, etc), this was an unremittingly bleak time for many
schoolchildren. When we weren’t doing our homework by candlelight during the
Winter of Discontent, we were bored. Endlessly bored.
I do believe that mastering ennui is a key skill children need to learn, but
back in the era of Casio watches and Monkey Magic you spent the whole time
waiting – waiting for the broadcasters to actually start transmitting
programmes before lunch, waiting for your older sister to finish using the
one and only landline in the house so you could call a friend, waiting for
your holiday photos to be developed only to discover you’d put a thumb over
the Kodak Disc lens.
Curiously, the things parents most yearn for are not the simple joys of a
pre-digital childhood: racing around on a BMX, climbing trees in flares,
reading The Beano, stuffing yourself full of Angel Delight.
No, according to the survey, what they miss are a the proto-technologies of
today. Topping the list is “making tape recordings of the chart Top 40”.
This was always a painfully fiddly process – using a “ghetto blaster”
that chewed up your expensive cassettes. And, however hard you tried, you
always ended up catching the jaunty tones of Bruno Brookes on your
recording, as he introduced Prefab Sprout.
There may have been some romanticism to recording your own carefully-chosen
list of tunes and handing them to a potential girlfriend, as chronicled
brilliantly by Nick Hornby in High Fidelity. But, in my case, the tears and
sweat invested were never returned.
My children can now compile – at no cost and little effort – their own
playlists on Spotify, picking songs from around the world. And then they can
send them via a link on Instagram to their friends immediately. Social media
has many downsides, but it has made the act of sharing jokes, music and
pictures infinitely easier for my children’s generation.
Who needs a pen friend (second on the list) when you have friends and
followers on Facebook? I had to wait two weeks for a reply to air-mail
letters sent to Sanjay in India. My kids can send videos to people they met
on holiday at the push of a button.
Even more bizarrely, “renting videos” makes it into the top 10 list. This is
yet more false nostalgia for a rubbish technology. One of Britain’s very
earliest video rental shops opened around the corner from my childhood home
in London. Once you became a member, you could take home a ring binder with
laminated sheets listing all the videos owned by the shop (the ring binder
was only updated once a month). You would then ring the shop and reserve the
video (“Planes, Trains and Automobiles” was never available),
before visiting in person to collect the chunky Betamax. Yes, we were one of
those families.
Compare that palaver with turning on the telly, switching on Netflix and
watching an impossibly large range of films and TV shows. I know what I
prefer.
The ultimate proof of the perniciousness of nostalgia is that “watching
Saturday night television with the family” is on the list.
Let’s take a quick glance at the Saturday evening BBC One schedules from
exactly 30 years ago: The Tripods, Noel Edmonds’ Late Breakfast Show (with
guests Sister Sledge), followed by Bob’s Full House with Bob Monkhouse,
rounded off with the Paul Daniels Magic Show. I’d rather gouge out my eyes
with a garlic crusher than have to sit through that lot again.
It is fashionable to decry every aspect of the modern childhood. And, yes, the
anxiety and difficulty with growing up will never disappear. But I can say
with some certainty that my children – thanks to incredible leaps in
technology during their short lifetimes – are having more fun than I ever
did.
Read the alternative point of view: Taping
the Top 40 – why today’s kids are missing out
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(via Telegraph)
